I've been around the block more than just a few times to know that kindness goes along way these days. In a day and age where we all live behind our phones and other technology, it has become so easy to be impersonal in your connections with one another. A text here, a comment there. Follow it up with a like and follow. I've come to terms with understanding this is our world now as we move forward in time, we certainly must push onward as well with how we connect to each other. Social media obviously being the biggest platform and example of how we keep in touch now. However it is very clear there is so much lost while we endlessly scroll, looking for the posts and shares that peak our interest most. While I try not to condone this method of connection, I clearly think you lack the authenticity that comes with a phone call or writing a letter to a friend. You might question, how is this really any different? Writing a letter is almost the same thing as writing a post. That might be partially true, but we seem to post whatever it is that our mind is on at that specific time. For a brief moment we offer a glimpse into our day for others. What we had to eat that morning, how we are spending our afternoon or evening, a photo capturing the essence of what our day had to offer us. It's kind of like a scrapbook of our lives when you really think about it. It's easy, I get it. Open up Facebook on your phone and write a quick post of what's on your mind. A year later it will pop up in your memories and you will remember that time and place of your life. For better or worse, it is there as a reminder of who you were, what you were going through at that moment in time. I find myself thinking though, what happened to making an actual scrapbook? A photo album? The creativity involved in sitting down and using a more thoughtful approach to mapping out the memories of your life is so much more magical. Something you can put your hands on, as you flip through the pages that you designed yourself. A piece of history, your history. Anyhow, I digress from my main point which is: We need to put out phones down and remember how to connect to the world.
I will start by saying, it's not entirely about putting your phone down. Our phone is a powerful tool in connecting us to our friends and loved ones. Though a text seems to be just too short and sweet sometimes. It's almost the same as making a post to your page. A quick quip to get to your main point, "What time will you be here? Where are the scissors, I cant find them!?" Alright, those are clear examples of what text should be used for. Do you find yourself using text though as an approach to ask how a friend has been doing? What is new in their life? More often than not, it is the easiest method of reaching out. It allows time for the receiver to respond, given that most of us have busy days and can't respond immediately. Again, nothing wrong with this. There is a time and place for these kinds of texts. But isn't there something about looking at your phone and seeing you missed a call from so & so? Why did they call, is everything okay? Something must be up, if they called me. I think automatically our brains jump to an idea that something serious must've prompted a phone call, versus just a quick text. I have done this as an experiment. Calling friends and leaving a message, or not leaving a message. The times when I don't leave a message, I usually get a text back (sometimes a phone call) "Hey, what's up, everything okay?" Always easier to send that text. If I leave a message, odds are I might likely get a call back given the context of the message. But you always get the text. My point is, people are put off more to talk on the phone. Why talk when you can quickly just send a text and get to your point. The element of surprise always catches people off guard, that's why they get shocked when you call. You'll be quick to jump to the assumption that something must be up. When it's just a phone call to catch up and talk about life, you feel a special warmness in your soul. "They actually took some time to give me their undivided attention" Carrying on a conversation, allowing it to grow into more than just a couple short texts that paint a half assed picture. Now I realize that I sound like a hater, and I'm not. I text a lot of my friends. In fact, sometimes just a quick text letting someone know that they're being thought of can really make someones day. Maybe just consider the next time you're going to text someone, giving them a call instead. You might find yourself in an hour long conversation diving into much deeper reservoirs that wouldn't have been visited through a brief text. I love talking on the phone, catching people off guard when their phone starts ringing. "Hey why are you calling?" "Oh I just wanted to say hello and let you know I was thinking of you!" "Gee, Thanks! You could've just text though." "Yeah but what's the fun in that? I get to hear your voice, and take you away from whatever you were doing for just a moment in your day!" So now you know when I call you, it's not because I'm in dire need of being rescued from being kidnapped (at least I hope not), it's because I want to break what has become the social norm of just sending that remote text.
So now let's set our phones down. Put it on silent, we need no further distractions. Grab a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Sit on your booty and get to it! Get to what? Writing that letter of course! When is the last time you wrote a letter to someone? Not one that was required to fulfill some sort of purpose or duty. Just a letter filling in the details of you life, like coloring a page in a coloring book. Taking the time to really personalize what your life has been, what is happening with you. Allowing plenty of room for those same questions to whomever you send it to. It doesn't have to be long, it's the act of taking the time to write it that makes all the difference. Do you even know any of your friends addresses? Other than it being saved in your map quest for directions to their house the last time you may have visited. When you mail someone a letter, it can be one of the most powerful tools of communication. First off, getting something in your mail other than your Xcel bill can really light up your life (pun intended)! Seriously though, when you get a letter from a friend it's pretty awesome. Sure you could've just texted or called them, but when you hold a letter in your hand you know someone really took the time out of their day to personalize something just for you. Something you can hold in your hands will ALWAYS give you more pleasure than that which you cannot see or touch. I'm not saying this is the best method of connecting. I am saying that this is the most thoughtful way though, as well as the most powerful and moving. You can make a huge difference in someones life with just a quick 30 minutes of putting the pen to paper. Try it out, see what results you get. Time to start asking for those addresses!
If you show up at a friends house unannounced, you might really get reamed for not texting or calling first. I understand, because you might have no idea what that person is doing when you show up. They could be in their undies watching Netflix with one hand in a bag of potato chips, and the other on the phone you 'should've reached out to them on'. Isn't it funny before cell phones & email we were more likely to stop by a friends place to pay a quick visit and say hello (as it might have been the only way to actually get in touch with someone). Well if you show up at a friends house now, it is almost as if you are invading their privacy somewhat. Again you might have no idea what they are doing, or if they are suitable or prepared to have a surprise house guest. This might not be as common to do in the year 2020. But there is a message that comes with just showing up. Return to the days of your youth when your friend would just show up and ask your Mom or Dad if you could come out to play. You felt a rush excitement! "Hey they're here to see me, that makes me feel pretty special." Why should it be any different when we are adults? Is it our age, or is it the way that we live our lives now in a new tech savvy world? I'm not saying that you should start showing up at all your friends houses without warning. However if you know a friend is home and you are passing through their neighborhood, is it wrong to stop by without a heads up? I believe the power in just showing up makes a huge impact. You might upset someone for not letting them know first, but shouldn't it be considered thoughtful and more welcomed than scolded? It is something to be considered and thought about. *Knock knock* "I'm at your front door right now! Put some pants on!"
How can we make an impact on other lives with other forms of communication? While there are many (most of which we have already discussed), I find being involved in a group or community of like minded individuals can be tremendous for not only you but all those you engage with. Interaction is not always even necessary in these situations, sometimes your presence is enough to remind people that they are not alone. Haven't you been to a concert before where you feel united with everyone else who is there with you? You don't have to talk to them to understand them. You understand their need and desire for escape and fun, after all that is why you are there. You feel a sense of belonging, and your being there gives that same feeling back to the performer/s. While this is just an example, it holds true to many other social outings. Everywhere you go, you are typically surrounded by people who are there with the same intentions or purpose. Understanding that allows for there to be more of an impact with how you hold yourself or what you might choose to say to somebody. Yet it's much easier to not say hello to someone at the grocery store and just mind your own, get your groceries and head to whatever is next. Take into consideration how a short interaction with a stranger could change someones day around. A quick smile, "Hey, how's it going?". Someone might be having a horrible day, and you interacting with them could change that. Some people might not care for it, and if that's the case never take it personal. Move on and try to share some light in someone else's world. My point being, don't forget the impact you have by just existing day in and day out. Your presence and energy here on this planet are always more powerful than you take into consideration most days. It's easy to get stuck in the funk of a normal daily routine, which in turn shortens our attention spans to connect more with our surroundings and world, with everyone else here who inhabits it. Make a point of always being aware of this when you go out. You can make a difference with minimal effort. Just being more present is a healthy way of non-verbal communication. When you see someone smile, you are more likely to smile back. But when you see someone upset, it can be easy to pick up on that and keep your distance. Try though to pass on some positive energy by being aware of what you're seeing, and putting out good vibes and affirmative thoughts from your own being. When someone walks through your bubble, you might be surprised what they pick up on. They might even walk away feeling better not knowing why or how. It's the transference of energy that we don't even see that can make a huge impact without it even being known. So now that you're considering more of how your presence alone has an impact, what kind of groups or community experiences can you get/be involved in where you will make a difference in others lives or where you live? Write down the things that inspire you most, or what you'd like to change the most about the city you live in, or the world in general. There's are others who are equally as inspired about the same things you just wrote down. Find your pathway to connect with those individuals. There's plenty of tools in our arsenal to make our dreams and goals a reality with the help of others who dream that same dream. Find your voice, find your tribe. Make a difference while you are here.
I hope that this inspires you to take more time out of your day to remember your life's purpose, Connecting with one another. There are so many ways to do so, and yet we still confine and restrict ourselves to put in just the bare minimum effort sometimes. Tomorrow is never promised, so why not take the time today to leave no stone unturned, no words left unsaid? Make that phone call, write that letter. Show up and surprise them without warning just to show you're not like the rest of the mindless and thoughtless herd, who would much rather play it safe by letting them know first. Pick yourself up when you're feeling down and out, because you never know who might be watching and how it can effect everything and everyone around you. Be a light for those who might be walking in the dark. Even if you feel your light is dim and it might be time for a replacement bulb, you have more of an impact than you'll ever know. Beginning to understand that is just the first step to living a happier and more engaging life. Not only for yourself, but for all those you care for. The people you may never know, but just cross paths with. We are human and our energy is beyond anything imaginable. So take that energy and start making more of a difference, you will never be disappointed in that leap of faith!
